Our ace reporter 10 Zing Goodpath will have a weekly column called “The Tibetan”. This is the first investigative journalism report by this crime fighter, former freedom fighter.
13.09.2012, Bangkok: It is learnt from upright (ED: read disgruntled) sources that the weight of the PM’s entourage is causing Druk Air flight problems. Since 2008, the Druk Air had calculated the PM’s average delegation size at 50. Multiplied that by an average weight of 65 kgs. Plus give or take about 300 kgs of documents in briefcases and ghos plus gold watches and jewellery being worn. This was the carry on weight after all baggage was loaded.
Recently on the way to Bangkok enroute to Estonia and Latvia, the Druk Air Airbus almost overshot the runway due to excess weight. They also found that thousands of dollars of extra fuel was used on the short direct flight. As a precaution, Druk Air asked to weigh the entourage prior to their return flight. Lo and behold! Each member had put on an average of 16 kilos. This means the plane was carrying 16×50=800 extra kilos unknowingly. Very dangerous.
“Very Very,” the Druk Air MD said, ‘It seems the extremely hard work has led to stress for the PM and entourage. I believe this results in cycles of depression which might cause over eating and over shopping. I read this in Vogue magazine. Due to their travels the entourage can do both easily. This is why they are putting on weight and suitcases are bigger on return routes. We have adjusted for this weight increase by offloading 10 genuine passengers whenever the PM travels out and 25 when he returns.”
The PM was not available for comment but the media office released a statement saying, “The PM remains at a trim *&^&(state secret) kgs due to his cycling from Lungtenphu to Samarjingkha once a week (security reasons don’t allow mention of which day of the week).”
The MOIC secretary clarified on behalf of the others. “We are not depressed. Its just that we cannot go looking malnourished and hungry when we are the carriers of happiness to all conferences around the world. Rest assured, this is as per our plan and strategy to be fat. Our target is to look like Angela Merkel of Germany.”